Patience at its finest

Today should have been the day. The numbers add up, calculated ever so carefully, except for one small detail. Well, fifteen small details to be precise.

The story line is simple. Mid-winter, my pheasant hens decide to lay. Not a common thing for an undometicated bird to do. After collecting fifteen eggs, one of my Salmon Faverolles decided to go broody, so I took advantage of her mothering heart, and offered her the pheasant eggs. She accepted them with astonishing earnestness, rolling them one by one under her plumage.

She hasn't moved from her basket, not even to lean forward and drink the water placed in front or to eat a morsel. She hasn't stood up, stretched or given any opportunity for these much smaller eggs to cool off.

After two weeks, she started her quiet mothering croon to the littles lives stirring in their armoured womb. She has zealously guarded them, loved them, spoken endearingly to them and claimed them as her own.

I confess that this sacrificial love has made me feel unworthy and inept in my very feeble attempts to show love and care to others. I confess that I am altogether willing to count the hardships of endurance, to shed tears when the sacrifice has been so great.

Today, Sienna would have heard little pips, had these eggs been her own, but they are not. They are pheasant eggs, which means she has at least two more days before a little pheasant chick unearths itself from underneath this feathered act of love and greets this darling of a mother.

Patience, endurance, long-suffering, These qualities are within my grasp and yet I hastily grab at impatience. Impatience that says 'I didn't plan on this. I need resolution. I want results.'

Leave it to a lovely little hen to teach the simplicity of waiting in silence.

A Danish Bedtime Story

Once upon a time, there was a Dane who shared a life with a lady, who shared a house with her horse, who shared a bed with her master. This master decided to alter the circumstances. The rest of the story will be shared in pictures, but to start things off fairly, I will give you a hint on the first picture!

The lady's neighbour boy outgrew his toddler bed!! What possible use could she have for this? Hmmmm...Oh!!! That's right! She has a dog that might like having a large bed!

Fitted sheet. Right. Got it. Are we done yet?

WHAT? A flat sheet too? But I am SOOOOOO tired. Black bags, I tell you! Black bags!

This certainly looks promising! The duvet has been placed!

Carpe Diem

Mine

What toddler bed? Just try to condense me! I weigh more than you; YOU sleep on the toddler bed!

Make mine a Queen!!

My Humbler Bumbler

I have recently discovered a new species of pollinator in the cottage garden. Swift, large, able to cross pollinate multiple plants at a time. This indomitable creature is tireless and uncomplaining in the course of duty. She may lack a few refinements here and there such as using not only the traditional rear legs to carry pollen , but also the abdomen, the muzzle, eyebrows, forelegs, ears, tail, and whiskers while cross-pollinating brilliant orange lilies with delicate blue speedwell, or a soft pink dianthus with a tall spired blue delphinium. Certainly by next season when a large five foot stalk unfurls from the ground sporting nothing but a solitary pink flower the size of a baby's fingernail, SURELY the pollinator will consider refining her talent!

The Last Vestiges of Puppy-hood

I finally had to break down and do it.

This vehicle is relatively new to me, purchased in mid-April when Claire was still growing and when the air was warming toward spring, allowing her to ride along in the car and stay alone while I ran chores. Each time, upon my return, I would find her curled up in my seat...no easy task for a lanky ninety pound pony! So as not to startle her,  I would gently knock on the window. This was never a successful approach, needless to say since she was A) in trouble for not being where she belonged, and B) taking her guardian role seriously.

After knocking, she would whip her head around with gaping eyes and very rapidly try to uncoil all nine feet of front legs, body and hind legs from the garden hose style nest she had created under the steering wheel. More often than not, I would have to cover my face or look the other way to stifle the hilarity I exuded, so as to enforce just how intolerable I found it to have her in the 'Master's Chair'.

One of these times, I returned to find nose prints on the windshield, right in my line of vision. This may sound crazy, but I have loved seeing the vigilant loyalty that I took this symbol to mean. It has remained there...until today.

It is getting VERY cold and soon to snow, so any marks on the window are quick to gather steam from the temperature variation. Out of necessity, I had to take window cleaner to these sweet marks of friendship. However, I will never look through the windshield without seeing the nose prints with my memories vision.

In fact, I still can see my one year old nieces little thumb print on my review mirror, from a road trip and time when I was holding her on my lap while her mama was busy changing my newest nieces clothing before getting back on the road. I kept that thumbprint out of love and the sweetness that symbol brought to my heart.

I will always miss that car, but I can still see the thumbprint and cherish the memory of that trip.

Seasonal Markers

August 15th: The first Autumn leaf fell, a bright burgundy leaf from a plum tree.

September 5th: Termination dust fell on the mountains in the early morning hours, marking the official end of summer.

September 9th: First Autumn frost. It was very crisp this morning and the frozen ground yielded interesting smells for Claire and Kate (our weekend guest Irish Wolfhound). Week by week you can feel the thermostat being turned down, frosty breath staying until later in the day and arriving earlier each evening. Brrr!

The next marker for winter is the first sticking snow - we are on track for an earlier arrival date this year which reminds me that my next trip to the feed store better include the purchase of Claire's red mittens! and a snow shovel! and more candles! and a camp stove just in case!

Last year was such a delightful winter with Claire; I am looking forward to this year!

Hmmm....It feels like Christmas already. Think I will listen to Luciano Pavarotti's Christmas Collection!

I Was Just Wondering...

If the old saying states that

"Less is more"

then what is it called when you have

Much Less?

If another saying says to 

be happy with the little things,

what happens when the little things become 

MICROSCOPIC?

I was just wondering!

...and then I saw Providence

Last night around 10:30, the electricity went M.I.A. and remains missing to this very moment. It was a tremendous windstorm that spirited the current out of the city's electrical veins, taking down trees, removing fences, and crippling businesses. Work was an extra enormous effort today, but thankfully all worked out without detrimental issues.

What was amazing today was the incredible moon and starlight for a few brief moments as the winds offered a glimpse through the clouds to the floorboards of heaven. Within minutes, the same wind pushed the cloudy blanket over the city, leaving us in darkness.

My ride to work was very black. No street light, house light or stop light sat vigil. I realized the allegory God was teaching me. He was showing that He intended me to be the light in darkness, even in a sometimes hostile work place, a thankless job, the never ending flow of demands and unkindness.

Further along on my drive, I observed the information / help assistance poles lit up by a royal blue light, offering a chance for passers by to stop and call for help. This too is something God gives us each day. A beacon in this dark world to offer hope and light and help to get through. A reminder that we are not alone yet must ask and want the guidance offered.

By this time in my drive, I was rather choked up by the clear message and the inner yielding that for whatever reason, God does have me at this job for His glory, not my own.

My last leg of the journey to work left me in tears. Just ahead a half a mile in blazing lights, I saw my destination lit up with power from it's own power plant. On the top was a bright blue light in the shape of a cross followed by the words PROVIDENCE.

He chooses us. He calls us. He enables us. He is good.

A Poignant Reminder

A Day at the Itty Bitty 'Beach'

It was a great day!

Taking a Rain Check on Summer

Autumn is infusing the early morning air with her fragrance. The sun is sleeping in later each morning and retiring earlier each evening.

Presently, we are tied for the second coldest summer on record and on pace to succeed in earning first place. This, following Winter with record snowfall and a record Spring Blood Drive, courtesy of the state bird - the shameless mosquito.

Our winter clothes have barely had enough time to wrinkle or lose their detergent freshness, yet we are pulling them out already in anticipation of the eminent return of the Old Man and his winter blanket.

My Single Favourite Thing on Planet Earth

Bittersweet Chocolate. Tea. Gardens. Flowers. Gardening. Sunrise. Sunset. Mountains. Wild Creatures. Steak. Fruit. Classical music. Antiques. Embroidery. Wholesome laughter. Pastries. Cooking. Lucia on my lap with a great book in hand.

Scenic Driving. Victoria, B.C. Oregon Coast. Snow. Snowfall. Snowflakes. Winter. Nature sounds. The American Flag. America's Founding Documents and Principles.

This list could go on with things that bring great joy, a sweet smile and a contented sigh in my soul.

However, the thing that gives me the greatest joy of all is having Claire sound asleep, her tail wagging with reckless abandon. Without a shadow of doubt, I can see that she has true contentment and pleasure. She is unafraid. Her conscience is clear. She is at peace and filled with joy!

The Impatience of Slobber

Here beside me sits Claire in ultimate perfection. Her eyes are looking at me with such adoration, her ears are upright sentinels, her carriage is the epitome of elegance. She sits in silence, patiently waiting for me after making sure she has dutifully complied with every piece of training that her memory can evoke. Had there not been a heartbeat beneath, she would have made an enviable statue.

There is one unfit clue however that is quite evident amidst this regal image. That is, she is dripping a rather significant amount of slobber as she watches me eat.

After dying laughing for a moment, my eyes flooded with tears as I realized how often I do this very same act before my God. I clean up, perform all the dutiful functions to make sure I am in compliance with His standards, then present my petition before Him. While this is all well and good to comply and present yourself, there is an underlying expectation that God will give way to my desire.

I adore Claire and love sharing the moment with her. Of course I love to provide for her, to praise her, to guide her, to dote on her, to watch birds and smell flowers together. I want to give her tasty treats and great sticks and fun toys but they don't always come when she is asking for them. Her best interests are always at the heart of my bond with her which means that sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no and sometimes there never was a question....just an unexpected gift!

If my heart is one with God's heart, then I can comply with his standards, present myself and my request before Him, then wait in assurance of His goodness. He loves me no matter the answer, but do I love Him no matter the answer?

After giving Claire my last bite, I used American Sign Language to signal 'all done' and she lay down at my feet contentedly to sleep. After God gives me something dear, do I stay in His presence?

A Letter to my Sister

If you were here...

I would seat you in this cozy spot with a cup of tea.

 Or perhaps a seat here with a book of your choosing.

You would be welcome to a nap

I would even let you pick my peonies!

Turning One

Look who just turned ONE 

and is enjoying her 

big girl bed!

Happy Birthday Claire!

Set Against a Winter Landscape

Today on our walk, Winter was being ravished by warm winds, leaving behind traces of past seasons and heralding the coming of new.

Leaps and Bounds

Who knew that Great Danes were part of the leaping lemur family!?!

In Danish Sickness and in Great Dane Health

My rather large darling became ill with a new strain of kennel cough last week, followed mid-week with an intense secondary infection. When I picked her up after work, she was non-responsive and exhibited every symptom of illness. Poor little lady.

After a late night trip to the DVM, she received subcutaneous fluids, an antibiotic injection and ten days supply of oral antibiotics. After a few dys of round the clock nursing, she is finally on the mend, even enjoying a walk today.

Of Celery and Carrots

While discussing the alarming trend of childhood obesity patients rolling through the door, my co-workers and I were discussing just how young and how large children seemed to be now.

I chimed in by mentioning the three siblings that were all in the single digit by age, and yet weighed around my weight up to one and a half times my weight.

I also chimed in that my soon to be seven month old weighed ninety pounds and that I had put her on a strict diet of carrots and celery.....and moose and caribou and raspberries and butternut squash and apples and salmon and blueberries and kefir and peas and almonds and bok choy and pumpkin and. . .! To top it off, we chase it all down with popcorn............ and exercise and sweet, delicious NAPS!  

Many Happy Returns of the Daylight

...to misquote a famous line from Winnie The Pooh!

Our sun is making its Northern journey once again, migrating toward the North Pole along with its many accompanying fauna who make this annual pilgrimage.

A Case of Moosetaken Identity

When one lives in moose country, and one has a puppy who still needs to make a midnight facility run, one needs to be very careful that ne'er the twain shall meet! While there have been many near and surprising encounters, none was more entertaining than last night!

Let me enlighten you...

'Twas three in the morning, not a creature in sight,
til some lips came a bobblin' to kiss me, all right.
Claire's tail came a waggin', her eyes said 'Please Please',
won't someone, oh someone let me out to go pee?
Down the stairs we did go, out the door to the cold,
when her nose caught a whiff and her ears stood all stiff.
She barked and stood taught, while my flashlight I got,
And the beam it shone round revealed nothing, not even sound.
I called her inside,
Gave kisses goodnight.
When outside down in front, there arose such a clatter,
There was one thing for sure...something was the matter.
Down the stairs I did fly
and to my wondering eye,
flipped the switch to behold
a male moose outside cold.
At my door he did knock,
saying ...
"Darling, I saw you standing there outside and you are the most beautiful lady I ever did see. It doesn't matter that your ears are up in curlers; you are still my kind of gal".

I was stunned. This bull moose had followed Claire very quickly and lovingly up the steps of the front door and was just staring at me with desperate eyes only three feet away! I called Claire to me, but she, being very confused by the quick inside outside routine and all my bluster about being careful over moose had her worried that she had done something wrong. Since she was laying as submissively as possible, I resorted to picking her up so she would not miss the opportunity of a lifetime. We were well rewarded! The moose caught one glance at her and ran away! We sat side by side staring out at the midnight darkness and looking after one lone heartsick moose!

Claire looks both ways before walking down the front steps now!

Christmas 2011

> 11 dogs a dancin'


> 10 plates a layin'

> 9 tails a waggin'

> 8 feet a tanglin'

> 7 trails a blazin'

> 6 glasses tinklin'

> 5 lords a leapin'

> 4 ladies laughin'

> 3 rooms a gatherin'

> 2 potato dishes steamin'

> 1 boeuf prime rib a standin'

What an evening with more dogs than people, but the mix seemed to work out well, with the exception of one lady who was not creature compatible...the dogs seemed to be aware of this and preferred the company of those humans with hands outstretched!

Claire, though only six and a half months old, was the largest of the bunch with a little husky rescue being about her age. They seemed to know that they were both the same age and were inseparable, including the time where the husky teeth imbedded themselves in Claires lip, thus earing him the name "The Stapler".

A few weeks later, "The Stapler" came over to play and became yet another office implement, this time earning the name "The Letter Opener" after tearing a one inch wound in Claire's hind leg right down to the muscle. We debated stitches, but after two MD's inspected the gaping wound, felt that it would be better served healing on its own since stitched would require antibiotics and could cause future tummy trouble.

Now, there is small pinky sixed spot remaing to close and a sensitivity to the cold, but she seems to be fine. There are no future office implement purchases planned, but if so, we will shop carefully!

An Unexpected Source

Sometimes, GOD lays a task on your heart and you obey without knowing the reasons.

Such was the case two weeks ago while I was talking to a manufacturing rep at work. She stopped by the office to fax her charges to her home office and commented how thirsty she gets while working in the O.R. I offered her a spot in the cupboard to hold a water bottle so she could have a quick drink in between cases. The topic switched to her not feeling well, so I brought up Ginger People's Ginger Chews as a source of comfort when I am tired, traveling, queezy, or just needing something sweet and spicy. The next day, while I was unpacking my kitchen at the new house, I saw a package of crystallized ginger by the same company and gave it to the lady at work the next day.

Just a day or two later, I was carefully gleaning the grocery store for my very limited budget and saw a jar of ginger paste from Ginger People, a product I use with lemon, honey and hot water, or in a mug of steamed milk before bed. I contemplated the purchase, knowing that it would reduce my grocery budget by a quarter of the alotted amount. The jar came home with me and sat over the weekend. The temptation was very strong to enjoy it in my milk - another quarter of the grocery budget. I reckoned and reasoned with myself and came to the conclusion that it would be stealing from my friend; since the purchase was for her, it was never mine to begin with.

Taking it in to work with me, I labeled it with her name and a little note. Once again, it sat on the shelf for a few days until she came to our facility, but she was pleased that I had thought of her.

It has been a meager and hungry week, but five days later, this rep called me at work to see what time I would be getting off. An hour before I left work, she brought in a dozen pumpkin ginger cupcakes as a return gift for me. I only shared half!

How unexpectedly good!

Becoming Great by Becoming Least

Becoming Great

(copied from Lamplighter Moments)

Chrysostom once wrote, "If you want to make your child rich, teach him this: He is truly rich who does not desire great possessions . . . and thinks lightly of this life's passing glories."

This truth that was highlighted for me last week in a way I will never forget. Each month our Lamplighter Guild students have the opportunity to listen in on a conference call with a master teacher. This month, I interview celebrated European actor Peter Moreton. When I asked how a young person can become a great actor like himself, his reply took my breath away.

He said, "First, you need to give up all desires of becoming a great actor. You need to devote yourself to your craft--not to desires to become great. Then, when opportunities present themselves, your primary goal is to lift up the actors around you. Your job as an actor is to accentuate the character of others--they are to increase while you decrease. If I play a servant, for example, and I'm in the presence of a king, my role is to communicate to the audience the character of the king by my humble attitudes and actions. The king will be known through me."

When I heard these words I thought of Philippians 2: "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him . . ."

If you're looking for a new role to play--one that will make you eternally rich and presently rewarded--practice the art of serving those around you so that they might increase as you decrease. And, as it is in all good stories, you may be surprised when God unexpectedly changes your role from humble servant to royal knight of the King!

Lamplighter Publishing
P.O. Box 777
Waverly, PA 18471

Ten Feet in the Dark

There are two things I am writing in this early morning darkness. The first, is this e-mail. The second, is a list of necessary items to purchase to combat power outages. The usual fare, like matches, wicks for the lanterns, lantern oil, batteries for the flashlight and smoked tendons to keep Claire contented in one spot. But let me back up and explain!

I have brought Katydid, our friendly wolfhound home with us the past two nights. Yesterday coming home, the highway had turned into a new and used Precariously Parked Car Lot, offering all makes, models, shapes, sizes, condition and poses. Some, even had their previous owners showcasing them, walking round and round kicking the tires, or resting an elbow on the top in disbelief that their perfect vehicle that could zoom so fast past the slow pokes could ever end up in the Precariously Parked Car Lot. Many vehicles had State Troopers or Paramedics trying to draw crowds and many were quite successful!

After making it safely home and peeling my curved fingers from the steering wheel, the two dogs played in the fierce wind storm, the kind of fierce where arctic air meets mountain air meets ocean air all in a narrow valley. The wind tunnel howling effect was a display of beauty, power and awe! I would not be surprised if the strength of this wind is bringing up the smells of the past five generations of moose; by the looks of the dogs twitching noses, I would wager that my guess is pretty close!

Most of the night was spent up, reassuring the dogs that all the howling and thunking and whistling and house twisting was in fact a normal encounter, even if it felt rather like an intrusion! Bless their primitive brains for doing what dogs do best, namely, listen and watch, alert, protect! We watched at the window while several cars spent more than an hour and several millimeters of tire rubber trying to make it up the ice sculpted hill!

We lost power, and with it all sense of visibility, perceived or actual. The house is cold and getting colder by the minute. There are eight dog feet and two human feet trying to vie for safe footing. Fortunately, my cell phone lit up nicely for us to make it around until I could get candles lit. (Only four matches remain, thus the shopping list)

It is a cozy and creative morning, made more enjoyable with a cup of tea from a propane stove, but I do have two big dogs lying ever so close to my feet, squinting up at me through candlelit eyes and asking if they are dreaming, or is this for real. I reassure them once again that this is, in fact, a normal encounter and that we are loving it!

Missing Something

Claire L O V E S snow! I did however purchase some inexpensive fleece mittens to protect her paws from long term damage. However, the way she kicks up her heels in the deep snow makes it very easy to lose one. My ever watchful eye looks for anything missing as she leaps and bounds through the powdery tundra.

She also can sense smells deep under the snow and will bury her face to find the source. It took one time to figure out how to breathe properly, after coughing up the glitter during her first attempt! Her face looks hilarious, like one of those games where you find the white life saver in the container of flour ... by using your face!

I have noticed that both of us are having a bit of an identity crisis now that we are on our own. We have become so accustomed to sharing life with Kate and Sam, that creating our own routine without them has left her not knowing who she is. Once we stop back by for a romp and visit with our old companions, Claire realizes just who she is suppose to be and how she is suppose to act.

For me too, I have realized that I have been going through a gradual identity crisis. I have always had a clear picture of who I would be when I grew up and that it was just a matter of time before that identity would be fulfilled. I had planned to use my time 'in the meantime' with worthwhile endeavors that invested in the present moment while preparing for the future. My most satisfying and rewarding, even challenging times have been these moments of living now with the future in view.

Now, I realize that the future dreams I had anticipated, those of anchoring a home as wife and mother will likely never be achieved. There are no children around to practice with, only the childlike behaviour that co-workers exhibit. There are no relationships to practice faithfulness and diligence and resolution, only a dominating employer that is unreasonable, uncommunicative, unloving, unsatisfied, and ungiving.

It is with sorrow that I have had to come to this reconing; this is my life, the only one I have. Though I have willingly and cheerfully invested in the here and now, it has been challenging to swallow the bitter tears of grief of something I imagine to be missing from my life. I do however, recognize GOD's sovereignty and that He has something greater in mind than I thought I was preparing for. Ultimately, everything I do is for GOD's glory, so whether I am a President or a peasant, it matters not when it is woven into the fabric of GOD's purpose.

It is all a beautiful perspective. The best part is that nothing is missing, unless I withhold the yielding of my will.

The Size of Your Imprint

Sometimes in life, you do not realize the impact you have on others. On one hand, it is good for our humility to be blind to our impression on others, but sometimes it is good to know in order to leave the best impact on those we interact with.
While walking along the river bank, these powerful creatures left their impact behind, reminding me of this concept.

Bear....Obviously!

Eagle

Moose

A rock on ice

My shoe print

Something very small that left a deep impact!