My Humbler Bumbler

I have recently discovered a new species of pollinator in the cottage garden. Swift, large, able to cross pollinate multiple plants at a time. This indomitable creature is tireless and uncomplaining in the course of duty. She may lack a few refinements here and there such as using not only the traditional rear legs to carry pollen , but also the abdomen, the muzzle, eyebrows, forelegs, ears, tail, and whiskers while cross-pollinating brilliant orange lilies with delicate blue speedwell, or a soft pink dianthus with a tall spired blue delphinium. Certainly by next season when a large five foot stalk unfurls from the ground sporting nothing but a solitary pink flower the size of a baby's fingernail, SURELY the pollinator will consider refining her talent!

The Last Vestiges of Puppy-hood

I finally had to break down and do it.

This vehicle is relatively new to me, purchased in mid-April when Claire was still growing and when the air was warming toward spring, allowing her to ride along in the car and stay alone while I ran chores. Each time, upon my return, I would find her curled up in my seat...no easy task for a lanky ninety pound pony! So as not to startle her,  I would gently knock on the window. This was never a successful approach, needless to say since she was A) in trouble for not being where she belonged, and B) taking her guardian role seriously.

After knocking, she would whip her head around with gaping eyes and very rapidly try to uncoil all nine feet of front legs, body and hind legs from the garden hose style nest she had created under the steering wheel. More often than not, I would have to cover my face or look the other way to stifle the hilarity I exuded, so as to enforce just how intolerable I found it to have her in the 'Master's Chair'.

One of these times, I returned to find nose prints on the windshield, right in my line of vision. This may sound crazy, but I have loved seeing the vigilant loyalty that I took this symbol to mean. It has remained there...until today.

It is getting VERY cold and soon to snow, so any marks on the window are quick to gather steam from the temperature variation. Out of necessity, I had to take window cleaner to these sweet marks of friendship. However, I will never look through the windshield without seeing the nose prints with my memories vision.

In fact, I still can see my one year old nieces little thumb print on my review mirror, from a road trip and time when I was holding her on my lap while her mama was busy changing my newest nieces clothing before getting back on the road. I kept that thumbprint out of love and the sweetness that symbol brought to my heart.

I will always miss that car, but I can still see the thumbprint and cherish the memory of that trip.

Seasonal Markers

August 15th: The first Autumn leaf fell, a bright burgundy leaf from a plum tree.

September 5th: Termination dust fell on the mountains in the early morning hours, marking the official end of summer.

September 9th: First Autumn frost. It was very crisp this morning and the frozen ground yielded interesting smells for Claire and Kate (our weekend guest Irish Wolfhound). Week by week you can feel the thermostat being turned down, frosty breath staying until later in the day and arriving earlier each evening. Brrr!

The next marker for winter is the first sticking snow - we are on track for an earlier arrival date this year which reminds me that my next trip to the feed store better include the purchase of Claire's red mittens! and a snow shovel! and more candles! and a camp stove just in case!

Last year was such a delightful winter with Claire; I am looking forward to this year!

Hmmm....It feels like Christmas already. Think I will listen to Luciano Pavarotti's Christmas Collection!

I Was Just Wondering...

If the old saying states that

"Less is more"

then what is it called when you have

Much Less?

If another saying says to 

be happy with the little things,

what happens when the little things become 

MICROSCOPIC?

I was just wondering!

...and then I saw Providence

Last night around 10:30, the electricity went M.I.A. and remains missing to this very moment. It was a tremendous windstorm that spirited the current out of the city's electrical veins, taking down trees, removing fences, and crippling businesses. Work was an extra enormous effort today, but thankfully all worked out without detrimental issues.

What was amazing today was the incredible moon and starlight for a few brief moments as the winds offered a glimpse through the clouds to the floorboards of heaven. Within minutes, the same wind pushed the cloudy blanket over the city, leaving us in darkness.

My ride to work was very black. No street light, house light or stop light sat vigil. I realized the allegory God was teaching me. He was showing that He intended me to be the light in darkness, even in a sometimes hostile work place, a thankless job, the never ending flow of demands and unkindness.

Further along on my drive, I observed the information / help assistance poles lit up by a royal blue light, offering a chance for passers by to stop and call for help. This too is something God gives us each day. A beacon in this dark world to offer hope and light and help to get through. A reminder that we are not alone yet must ask and want the guidance offered.

By this time in my drive, I was rather choked up by the clear message and the inner yielding that for whatever reason, God does have me at this job for His glory, not my own.

My last leg of the journey to work left me in tears. Just ahead a half a mile in blazing lights, I saw my destination lit up with power from it's own power plant. On the top was a bright blue light in the shape of a cross followed by the words PROVIDENCE.

He chooses us. He calls us. He enables us. He is good.

A Poignant Reminder

A Day at the Itty Bitty 'Beach'

It was a great day!

Taking a Rain Check on Summer

Autumn is infusing the early morning air with her fragrance. The sun is sleeping in later each morning and retiring earlier each evening.

Presently, we are tied for the second coldest summer on record and on pace to succeed in earning first place. This, following Winter with record snowfall and a record Spring Blood Drive, courtesy of the state bird - the shameless mosquito.

Our winter clothes have barely had enough time to wrinkle or lose their detergent freshness, yet we are pulling them out already in anticipation of the eminent return of the Old Man and his winter blanket.

My Single Favourite Thing on Planet Earth

Bittersweet Chocolate. Tea. Gardens. Flowers. Gardening. Sunrise. Sunset. Mountains. Wild Creatures. Steak. Fruit. Classical music. Antiques. Embroidery. Wholesome laughter. Pastries. Cooking. Lucia on my lap with a great book in hand.

Scenic Driving. Victoria, B.C. Oregon Coast. Snow. Snowfall. Snowflakes. Winter. Nature sounds. The American Flag. America's Founding Documents and Principles.

This list could go on with things that bring great joy, a sweet smile and a contented sigh in my soul.

However, the thing that gives me the greatest joy of all is having Claire sound asleep, her tail wagging with reckless abandon. Without a shadow of doubt, I can see that she has true contentment and pleasure. She is unafraid. Her conscience is clear. She is at peace and filled with joy!

The Impatience of Slobber

Here beside me sits Claire in ultimate perfection. Her eyes are looking at me with such adoration, her ears are upright sentinels, her carriage is the epitome of elegance. She sits in silence, patiently waiting for me after making sure she has dutifully complied with every piece of training that her memory can evoke. Had there not been a heartbeat beneath, she would have made an enviable statue.

There is one unfit clue however that is quite evident amidst this regal image. That is, she is dripping a rather significant amount of slobber as she watches me eat.

After dying laughing for a moment, my eyes flooded with tears as I realized how often I do this very same act before my God. I clean up, perform all the dutiful functions to make sure I am in compliance with His standards, then present my petition before Him. While this is all well and good to comply and present yourself, there is an underlying expectation that God will give way to my desire.

I adore Claire and love sharing the moment with her. Of course I love to provide for her, to praise her, to guide her, to dote on her, to watch birds and smell flowers together. I want to give her tasty treats and great sticks and fun toys but they don't always come when she is asking for them. Her best interests are always at the heart of my bond with her which means that sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no and sometimes there never was a question....just an unexpected gift!

If my heart is one with God's heart, then I can comply with his standards, present myself and my request before Him, then wait in assurance of His goodness. He loves me no matter the answer, but do I love Him no matter the answer?

After giving Claire my last bite, I used American Sign Language to signal 'all done' and she lay down at my feet contentedly to sleep. After God gives me something dear, do I stay in His presence?

A Letter to my Sister

If you were here...

I would seat you in this cozy spot with a cup of tea.

 Or perhaps a seat here with a book of your choosing.

You would be welcome to a nap

I would even let you pick my peonies!

Turning One

Look who just turned ONE 

and is enjoying her 

big girl bed!

Happy Birthday Claire!

Set Against a Winter Landscape

Today on our walk, Winter was being ravished by warm winds, leaving behind traces of past seasons and heralding the coming of new.

Leaps and Bounds

Who knew that Great Danes were part of the leaping lemur family!?!

In Danish Sickness and in Great Dane Health

My rather large darling became ill with a new strain of kennel cough last week, followed mid-week with an intense secondary infection. When I picked her up after work, she was non-responsive and exhibited every symptom of illness. Poor little lady.

After a late night trip to the DVM, she received subcutaneous fluids, an antibiotic injection and ten days supply of oral antibiotics. After a few dys of round the clock nursing, she is finally on the mend, even enjoying a walk today.

Of Celery and Carrots

While discussing the alarming trend of childhood obesity patients rolling through the door, my co-workers and I were discussing just how young and how large children seemed to be now.

I chimed in by mentioning the three siblings that were all in the single digit by age, and yet weighed around my weight up to one and a half times my weight.

I also chimed in that my soon to be seven month old weighed ninety pounds and that I had put her on a strict diet of carrots and celery.....and moose and caribou and raspberries and butternut squash and apples and salmon and blueberries and kefir and peas and almonds and bok choy and pumpkin and. . .! To top it off, we chase it all down with popcorn............ and exercise and sweet, delicious NAPS!  

Many Happy Returns of the Daylight

...to misquote a famous line from Winnie The Pooh!

Our sun is making its Northern journey once again, migrating toward the North Pole along with its many accompanying fauna who make this annual pilgrimage.

A Case of Moosetaken Identity

When one lives in moose country, and one has a puppy who still needs to make a midnight facility run, one needs to be very careful that ne'er the twain shall meet! While there have been many near and surprising encounters, none was more entertaining than last night!

Let me enlighten you...

'Twas three in the morning, not a creature in sight,
til some lips came a bobblin' to kiss me, all right.
Claire's tail came a waggin', her eyes said 'Please Please',
won't someone, oh someone let me out to go pee?
Down the stairs we did go, out the door to the cold,
when her nose caught a whiff and her ears stood all stiff.
She barked and stood taught, while my flashlight I got,
And the beam it shone round revealed nothing, not even sound.
I called her inside,
Gave kisses goodnight.
When outside down in front, there arose such a clatter,
There was one thing for sure...something was the matter.
Down the stairs I did fly
and to my wondering eye,
flipped the switch to behold
a male moose outside cold.
At my door he did knock,
saying ...
"Darling, I saw you standing there outside and you are the most beautiful lady I ever did see. It doesn't matter that your ears are up in curlers; you are still my kind of gal".

I was stunned. This bull moose had followed Claire very quickly and lovingly up the steps of the front door and was just staring at me with desperate eyes only three feet away! I called Claire to me, but she, being very confused by the quick inside outside routine and all my bluster about being careful over moose had her worried that she had done something wrong. Since she was laying as submissively as possible, I resorted to picking her up so she would not miss the opportunity of a lifetime. We were well rewarded! The moose caught one glance at her and ran away! We sat side by side staring out at the midnight darkness and looking after one lone heartsick moose!

Claire looks both ways before walking down the front steps now!

Christmas 2011

> 11 dogs a dancin'


> 10 plates a layin'

> 9 tails a waggin'

> 8 feet a tanglin'

> 7 trails a blazin'

> 6 glasses tinklin'

> 5 lords a leapin'

> 4 ladies laughin'

> 3 rooms a gatherin'

> 2 potato dishes steamin'

> 1 boeuf prime rib a standin'

What an evening with more dogs than people, but the mix seemed to work out well, with the exception of one lady who was not creature compatible...the dogs seemed to be aware of this and preferred the company of those humans with hands outstretched!

Claire, though only six and a half months old, was the largest of the bunch with a little husky rescue being about her age. They seemed to know that they were both the same age and were inseparable, including the time where the husky teeth imbedded themselves in Claires lip, thus earing him the name "The Stapler".

A few weeks later, "The Stapler" came over to play and became yet another office implement, this time earning the name "The Letter Opener" after tearing a one inch wound in Claire's hind leg right down to the muscle. We debated stitches, but after two MD's inspected the gaping wound, felt that it would be better served healing on its own since stitched would require antibiotics and could cause future tummy trouble.

Now, there is small pinky sixed spot remaing to close and a sensitivity to the cold, but she seems to be fine. There are no future office implement purchases planned, but if so, we will shop carefully!

An Unexpected Source

Sometimes, GOD lays a task on your heart and you obey without knowing the reasons.

Such was the case two weeks ago while I was talking to a manufacturing rep at work. She stopped by the office to fax her charges to her home office and commented how thirsty she gets while working in the O.R. I offered her a spot in the cupboard to hold a water bottle so she could have a quick drink in between cases. The topic switched to her not feeling well, so I brought up Ginger People's Ginger Chews as a source of comfort when I am tired, traveling, queezy, or just needing something sweet and spicy. The next day, while I was unpacking my kitchen at the new house, I saw a package of crystallized ginger by the same company and gave it to the lady at work the next day.

Just a day or two later, I was carefully gleaning the grocery store for my very limited budget and saw a jar of ginger paste from Ginger People, a product I use with lemon, honey and hot water, or in a mug of steamed milk before bed. I contemplated the purchase, knowing that it would reduce my grocery budget by a quarter of the alotted amount. The jar came home with me and sat over the weekend. The temptation was very strong to enjoy it in my milk - another quarter of the grocery budget. I reckoned and reasoned with myself and came to the conclusion that it would be stealing from my friend; since the purchase was for her, it was never mine to begin with.

Taking it in to work with me, I labeled it with her name and a little note. Once again, it sat on the shelf for a few days until she came to our facility, but she was pleased that I had thought of her.

It has been a meager and hungry week, but five days later, this rep called me at work to see what time I would be getting off. An hour before I left work, she brought in a dozen pumpkin ginger cupcakes as a return gift for me. I only shared half!

How unexpectedly good!

Becoming Great by Becoming Least

Becoming Great

(copied from Lamplighter Moments)

Chrysostom once wrote, "If you want to make your child rich, teach him this: He is truly rich who does not desire great possessions . . . and thinks lightly of this life's passing glories."

This truth that was highlighted for me last week in a way I will never forget. Each month our Lamplighter Guild students have the opportunity to listen in on a conference call with a master teacher. This month, I interview celebrated European actor Peter Moreton. When I asked how a young person can become a great actor like himself, his reply took my breath away.

He said, "First, you need to give up all desires of becoming a great actor. You need to devote yourself to your craft--not to desires to become great. Then, when opportunities present themselves, your primary goal is to lift up the actors around you. Your job as an actor is to accentuate the character of others--they are to increase while you decrease. If I play a servant, for example, and I'm in the presence of a king, my role is to communicate to the audience the character of the king by my humble attitudes and actions. The king will be known through me."

When I heard these words I thought of Philippians 2: "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him . . ."

If you're looking for a new role to play--one that will make you eternally rich and presently rewarded--practice the art of serving those around you so that they might increase as you decrease. And, as it is in all good stories, you may be surprised when God unexpectedly changes your role from humble servant to royal knight of the King!

Lamplighter Publishing
P.O. Box 777
Waverly, PA 18471

Ten Feet in the Dark

There are two things I am writing in this early morning darkness. The first, is this e-mail. The second, is a list of necessary items to purchase to combat power outages. The usual fare, like matches, wicks for the lanterns, lantern oil, batteries for the flashlight and smoked tendons to keep Claire contented in one spot. But let me back up and explain!

I have brought Katydid, our friendly wolfhound home with us the past two nights. Yesterday coming home, the highway had turned into a new and used Precariously Parked Car Lot, offering all makes, models, shapes, sizes, condition and poses. Some, even had their previous owners showcasing them, walking round and round kicking the tires, or resting an elbow on the top in disbelief that their perfect vehicle that could zoom so fast past the slow pokes could ever end up in the Precariously Parked Car Lot. Many vehicles had State Troopers or Paramedics trying to draw crowds and many were quite successful!

After making it safely home and peeling my curved fingers from the steering wheel, the two dogs played in the fierce wind storm, the kind of fierce where arctic air meets mountain air meets ocean air all in a narrow valley. The wind tunnel howling effect was a display of beauty, power and awe! I would not be surprised if the strength of this wind is bringing up the smells of the past five generations of moose; by the looks of the dogs twitching noses, I would wager that my guess is pretty close!

Most of the night was spent up, reassuring the dogs that all the howling and thunking and whistling and house twisting was in fact a normal encounter, even if it felt rather like an intrusion! Bless their primitive brains for doing what dogs do best, namely, listen and watch, alert, protect! We watched at the window while several cars spent more than an hour and several millimeters of tire rubber trying to make it up the ice sculpted hill!

We lost power, and with it all sense of visibility, perceived or actual. The house is cold and getting colder by the minute. There are eight dog feet and two human feet trying to vie for safe footing. Fortunately, my cell phone lit up nicely for us to make it around until I could get candles lit. (Only four matches remain, thus the shopping list)

It is a cozy and creative morning, made more enjoyable with a cup of tea from a propane stove, but I do have two big dogs lying ever so close to my feet, squinting up at me through candlelit eyes and asking if they are dreaming, or is this for real. I reassure them once again that this is, in fact, a normal encounter and that we are loving it!

Missing Something

Claire L O V E S snow! I did however purchase some inexpensive fleece mittens to protect her paws from long term damage. However, the way she kicks up her heels in the deep snow makes it very easy to lose one. My ever watchful eye looks for anything missing as she leaps and bounds through the powdery tundra.

She also can sense smells deep under the snow and will bury her face to find the source. It took one time to figure out how to breathe properly, after coughing up the glitter during her first attempt! Her face looks hilarious, like one of those games where you find the white life saver in the container of flour ... by using your face!

I have noticed that both of us are having a bit of an identity crisis now that we are on our own. We have become so accustomed to sharing life with Kate and Sam, that creating our own routine without them has left her not knowing who she is. Once we stop back by for a romp and visit with our old companions, Claire realizes just who she is suppose to be and how she is suppose to act.

For me too, I have realized that I have been going through a gradual identity crisis. I have always had a clear picture of who I would be when I grew up and that it was just a matter of time before that identity would be fulfilled. I had planned to use my time 'in the meantime' with worthwhile endeavors that invested in the present moment while preparing for the future. My most satisfying and rewarding, even challenging times have been these moments of living now with the future in view.

Now, I realize that the future dreams I had anticipated, those of anchoring a home as wife and mother will likely never be achieved. There are no children around to practice with, only the childlike behaviour that co-workers exhibit. There are no relationships to practice faithfulness and diligence and resolution, only a dominating employer that is unreasonable, uncommunicative, unloving, unsatisfied, and ungiving.

It is with sorrow that I have had to come to this reconing; this is my life, the only one I have. Though I have willingly and cheerfully invested in the here and now, it has been challenging to swallow the bitter tears of grief of something I imagine to be missing from my life. I do however, recognize GOD's sovereignty and that He has something greater in mind than I thought I was preparing for. Ultimately, everything I do is for GOD's glory, so whether I am a President or a peasant, it matters not when it is woven into the fabric of GOD's purpose.

It is all a beautiful perspective. The best part is that nothing is missing, unless I withhold the yielding of my will.

The Size of Your Imprint

Sometimes in life, you do not realize the impact you have on others. On one hand, it is good for our humility to be blind to our impression on others, but sometimes it is good to know in order to leave the best impact on those we interact with.
While walking along the river bank, these powerful creatures left their impact behind, reminding me of this concept.

Bear....Obviously!

Eagle

Moose

A rock on ice

My shoe print

Something very small that left a deep impact!

A Smattering of Thoughts

There is an abundance of invisible blog entries I have written over the past few weeks, though they have never made it to the www. or out of my head for that matter. The myriad of topics change emotions and depths in correlation to the fast paced moments I have lived. Each entry was worthy to share, confess or remember, but there was too much and there was no time.

Some of the things I would share just from the past few days would be under these titles:

A Lesson Learned from Pup Culture: I took Caire to a puppy class, joined exclusively by her siblings and a nearly Grand Champion uncle. Immediately, she was absconded from me, while I was shooed away to leave her to the "professionals". I was disconcerted and upset. Thinking that this was intended as reunion and social time, I was not prepared for them to judge her or myself, for that matter, nor was I planning for them to take her to work with her. It reminded me so much of how our culture wants us to hand over our children and even our own minds to the whim of today's thinking. This is so frustratingly wrong. Of course Claire needs minute by minute guidance and encouragement, and as I train her, I realize how much more I myself need the minute by minute training. I like who she is!

Relinquishing: There are many things I have been relinquishing or realizing that I need to relinquish. Among them are my rights, rights to be correct, rights to be smart and plan wisely, rights to be independent rather than interdependent, rights to hold tightly, rights to be the teacher instead of being the taught. All of my actions are done with good intentions and with a biblical view interwoven throughout, but sometimes a different way of looking or doing is just as biblical and may bring GOD more glory. Just when I think I am an empty vessel and that I am doing things in His name, GOD shows me how full my vessel is of my self.

A Dog Named Dog, A Cat Named Mouse: Interestingly enough, while moving into this little cabin on a snowy evening, a very pretty little cat came running and mewing up towards me. It stopped short and kept its distance until I walked into the house with an arm load of boxes. When I turned around, there was the cat sitting expectantly in the doorway, looking ever so much like a hungry mouse. I called her 'mouse', she came running eagerly inside, and has never glanced outdoors again. The name has stuck, though I have called her other equally affectionate names, like goose, possum, verbena, foxglove, lavender, Victoria, Isabelle. Nothing quite fits her like mouse; she seems quite pleased with it! She loves sleeping in Claire's extra large dog bed, with or without Claire!

Also in the neighborhood is a dog adequately named "Dog". He is a pit bull mix and is sweet and responsive to my commands, though he does have a fondness for Claire's neck that I am not so fond of! Fortunately for Claire, she is taller and smarter than Dog and is capable of outmaneuvering for the most part. Dog also joined us indoors today since he lives outside and was shivering in the winter air.

As we went outside for a potty break, a shivering black cat ran scared up a tree, hugging it like a black bear cub. I named it Virginia, after the coal mines, after contemplating the name Ivory! It took a lot of coaxing to get the cat down since Claire was ever so desirous of welcoming a new creature, but after a half hour of the cat shivering and clinging to the bark, me freezing while watching individual, one-dimensional, six spoked snowflakes fall gently on me, after jingling cat food in a dish, after a large gash in my pinky and a matching one in my dog walking coat, I finally convinced the black cat that it was safe. I discovered that "Thomas" actually needed a manly man name, so he became Onyx the moment I set him down indoors with food, water and a radiator heater. He needed no coaxing to gain warmth and nourishment and feel at ease.

These creatures made me contemplate my own hardships and relationships and how I conduct myself.

Unthankful-giving: Sadly, I must admit that I am struggling with gratefulness this Thanksgiving. I struggle with everything in my life. Definitely a work in progress, but I was encouraged by Vision Forum's e-mail on 'Seven Things to do with Your Family This Thanksgiving'. The article was very convicting to revisit the history of GOD's Providence.

There is so much more that is flooding through my thoughts; too much for myself to process, but I will get through it one moment at a time, only by GOD's grace.

Four Degrees This Side of Midnight

When you are driving home at 4pm on a gorgeous sunny day and see thick steam blanketing the nearly frozen river and that the temperature reads 4 degrees, it really makes you wonder how cold it will drop by the time midnight hits.

When you arrive home, and the outside of the house is creaking from the cold, and the wood furnace has very little in the way of glowing embers, and the dogs who made a dash for an outdoor romp stop dead in their tracks after two minutes, alternating frozen paws in the arctic snow, it really makes you wonder how cold it will be by midnight.

When you breathe in the crisp air and feel shards of moisture depraived oxygen molecules scouring your lungs, it makes you wonder just how cold it will be by midnight!

This winter started October 31st in an early morning deposit of our first sticking snow and never let up until we all had received the memo that winter was here to stay with all its resplendent wonder. It has been gorgeous.

Being entertained by three noble beasts has been quite a treasure!