There is an abundance of invisible blog entries I have written over the past few weeks, though they have never made it to the www. or out of my head for that matter. The myriad of topics change emotions and depths in correlation to the fast paced moments I have lived. Each entry was worthy to share, confess or remember, but there was too much and there was no time.
Some of the things I would share just from the past few days would be under these titles:
A Lesson Learned from Pup Culture: I took Caire to a puppy class, joined exclusively by her siblings and a nearly Grand Champion uncle. Immediately, she was absconded from me, while I was shooed away to leave her to the "professionals". I was disconcerted and upset. Thinking that this was intended as reunion and social time, I was not prepared for them to judge her or myself, for that matter, nor was I planning for them to take her to work with her. It reminded me so much of how our culture wants us to hand over our children and even our own minds to the whim of today's thinking. This is so frustratingly wrong. Of course Claire needs minute by minute guidance and encouragement, and as I train her, I realize how much more I myself need the minute by minute training. I like who she is!
Relinquishing: There are many things I have been relinquishing or realizing that I need to relinquish. Among them are my rights, rights to be correct, rights to be smart and plan wisely, rights to be independent rather than interdependent, rights to hold tightly, rights to be the teacher instead of being the taught. All of my actions are done with good intentions and with a biblical view interwoven throughout, but sometimes a different way of looking or doing is just as biblical and may bring GOD more glory. Just when I think I am an empty vessel and that I am doing things in His name, GOD shows me how full my vessel is of my self.
A Dog Named Dog, A Cat Named Mouse: Interestingly enough, while moving into this little cabin on a snowy evening, a very pretty little cat came running and mewing up towards me. It stopped short and kept its distance until I walked into the house with an arm load of boxes. When I turned around, there was the cat sitting expectantly in the doorway, looking ever so much like a hungry mouse. I called her 'mouse', she came running eagerly inside, and has never glanced outdoors again. The name has stuck, though I have called her other equally affectionate names, like goose, possum, verbena, foxglove, lavender, Victoria, Isabelle. Nothing quite fits her like mouse; she seems quite pleased with it! She loves sleeping in Claire's extra large dog bed, with or without Claire!
Also in the neighborhood is a dog adequately named "Dog". He is a pit bull mix and is sweet and responsive to my commands, though he does have a fondness for Claire's neck that I am not so fond of! Fortunately for Claire, she is taller and smarter than Dog and is capable of outmaneuvering for the most part. Dog also joined us indoors today since he lives outside and was shivering in the winter air.
As we went outside for a potty break, a shivering black cat ran scared up a tree, hugging it like a black bear cub. I named it Virginia, after the coal mines, after contemplating the name Ivory! It took a lot of coaxing to get the cat down since Claire was ever so desirous of welcoming a new creature, but after a half hour of the cat shivering and clinging to the bark, me freezing while watching individual, one-dimensional, six spoked snowflakes fall gently on me, after jingling cat food in a dish, after a large gash in my pinky and a matching one in my dog walking coat, I finally convinced the black cat that it was safe. I discovered that "Thomas" actually needed a manly man name, so he became Onyx the moment I set him down indoors with food, water and a radiator heater. He needed no coaxing to gain warmth and nourishment and feel at ease.
These creatures made me contemplate my own hardships and relationships and how I conduct myself.
Unthankful-giving: Sadly, I must admit that I am struggling with gratefulness this Thanksgiving. I struggle with everything in my life. Definitely a work in progress, but I was encouraged by Vision Forum's e-mail on 'Seven Things to do with Your Family This Thanksgiving'. The article was very convicting to revisit the history of GOD's Providence.
There is so much more that is flooding through my thoughts; too much for myself to process, but I will get through it one moment at a time, only by GOD's grace.
